? Your Trojan Horse

? Your Trojan Horse

Greetings from Tenedos (Bozcaada), a small Aegean island filled with ancient history, wine, and sunshine.

I'm currently vacationing here part-time with my family in a beautiful vineyard. And part-time, I keep on creating.

Tenedos is the island the Greeks hid their ships during the Trojan War. Hiding here on this island, they convinced the Trojans that the war was over.

They left a horse (the Trojan Horse) in which a selection of Greek soldiers was hiding.

The poor Trojans took the horse inside their city as a trophy.

At night, the sneaky soldiers crept into the city and opened the city gates. The Greek army came back from Tenedos, entered Troy, destroyed it, and ended the war—this time for real.

Today, a Trojan Horse is used as a metaphor for something that invites a threat into a protected space. Like a virus.

I think of our stress as a Trojan Horse. It contains some sneaky soldiers—our challenging emotions. These soldiers overtake our city (our body), disarm our army (our rational thinking), and push us to war (a dysregulated state).

The war ends sooner or later—no emotion lasts forever. How long the war takes and how much damage is done is what matters.

How to end this war sooner?

This week, I recorded a video to teach you a quick method. It's a super easy meditation that only takes 3 minutes. Use it whenever you feel like your city is overtaken by sneaky soldiers. :)

Feel like your children are pushing your buttons?

Meditating while carrying out the heavy job of parenting might sound impossible—but really, just turn your face to a wall, close your eyes, and try out this 3-minute method to end the war before any damage is done.

(Don't worry, if you lose it every now and then, it's okay too. We all do. Repair and carry on.)

? Remember

“When parents are able to accept their mistakes, they are likely to remain in the social engagement system and be open to their children and whatever they need to do to repair their relationship with them. ”

—excerpt from “Brain-Based Parenting” by Daniel A. Hughes and Jonathan Baylin.

? Read

What is anger? Why do I experience it as a parent?

Anger is simply an emotion just like other emotions we enjoy. Our emotions are mental reactions to things. But some mental reactions can be difficult and unpleasant.

? Watch

How to get out of stress/anxiety? » Hourglass meditation (3-minute breathing space)

Practice hourglass meditation with me, or 3-minute breathing space as some call it.

? Laugh

Cartoon by @lizandmollie

? Grow

Consider becoming a premium member to support Apparent, learn emotional coaching, become calmer, and lead your child's brain and emotional development to its full potential. » Become a member

Here's a preview of some of the member-only content. :)

Learning: Overreaction

Overreaction is not so bad. It's understandable that our brains make errors when faced with potential danger. In this episode, you'll find an evolutionary explanation for overreaction.

That's it for today! ❤️

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Let me know what you think! Always here for you: on Twitter and at basak@apparent.today. Or just reply to this e-mail.

See you next week!

Love, Basak.