When I hit a parenting dead end, it's rarely about my kid—it's often about me. I see parenting as an opportunity for deep internal work. No wonder it's so hard! No meaningful work is easy.
But there's one simple tool at our disposal: embracing the imperfect.
Mess, tears, and screams... These are all normal imperfections of life with children. These are also the exact ones to push our buttons.
If you're looking for opportunities to work on yourself, look no further than these imperfections.
Let's try together. Are you bothered by this or that:
- Legos laying on the carpet OR the voice in your head that says, "Things are getting out of control!"
- Food that lands on the floor OR the voice in your head that says, "No one's grateful for your hard work!"
- Your kid saying, "No!" with determination OR the voice in your head that says, "You didn't get to say no when you were this little!"
This is where mindful parenting comes in. By being more aware and less judgmental, we can notice these moments and make space for internal work.
How to begin? This week, I wrote "7 intentions for mindful parenting." Setting intentions is such a laid-back way of becoming more mindful.
I also wrote, "The easiest ways to start mindful parenting" a while ago. Find 10 simple things you can start doing right now.
Make me the happiest friend in the world: Set a mindful parenting intention for yourself, hit reply, and let me know! ❤️
How to handle perfectionism in kids
We all have a perfectionist inside. Although it's not a part of us we all adore, it's still a part of us.
When our children show perfectionism during play or study, we tend to try to convince them by saying things like, "You don’t have to be perfect!" But... It often backfires.
I loved the below strategy by Dr. Becky Kennedy. We can't cut off any parts of us. But we can teach our kids how to recognize their "perfectionist voice." We can also teach them how to make space for "other" voices they own, such as the one that says, "This is good enough."
It's great for handling our own perfectionism too!
? Weekly nurture
7 intentions for mindful parenting: Our intentions guide our actions. Take a look at these 7 intentions for mindful parenting and start creating yours.
The easiest ways to start mindful parenting: Most of us lack the time, tolerance, and specific knowledge to practice mindful parenting daily. In this article, you will find the easiest ways to implement mindful parenting in your life.
? Weekly wisdom
Inspiration for play
Do you consider playing with children to be a big job? Here's a light touch in participating in their play... I find this kind of play incredibly heart-warming.
“In the middle of your vacuuming, your little child will suddenly appear with a suitcase and, going to the door, will wave goodbye.
“I'm going to the hospital. Goodbye. Goodbye.”
This small act of leaving may be repeated twenty times. Your role is to enter into the play just a little but not too much.
Wave goodbye but go on vacuuming.
Wave goodbye and make a mock crying face but then go on with your vacuuming.
Finally, go to him and ask, “Have you come home now?”
“Yes,” he replies. Then hug him to pieces, exclaiming how happy you are.”
–Excerpt from "Playful Parenting" by Lawrence J. Cohen
?️ Weekly visual
"Accepting children as they are" at its best. ?
That's it for today! ❤️
Thanks for reading!
Send me your thoughts. I'm on Twitter and love seeing a DM in my inbox. You can also hit reply or shoot me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Until next Saturday!
Love, Basak (founder of Apparent)